was what may have been the last of the family dinners at Wedgewood. We were saying good bye to Alex who is going back to NY to finish his last year at Syracuse. Go Orangemen. I brought the materials for making homemade ice cream and the two of us went shopping for dinner supplies
Beef stroganoff/Bishop's (Barker) Beans
Water in tumblers/misc forks and dishes
laughter/stress
spilling drinks on shorts and bare feet
homemade ice cream & fresh strawberries/juicy watermellon staining chins and countertops
french press dunkin decaf
romantic ballroom music from the hi-fi followed by the Peter Pan audio book LP (Alex gave gifts to the housemates which were more or less inside jokes that I won't attempt to explain here but I still wish you could have heard our roars of laughter when he presented Caleb with Moby Dick. I wish you could have seen Kyle's face when Alex handed him Peter Pan on vinyl)
new sponges acquired thanks to the squareback, but no dish soap still (boys, come on!)
--basically all the things that make up summers: food, music, laughter, stress, good byes: culminated into one place
The temporary family is breaking up, just as the ones before it have, but I'm more at peace with this fact now. I do not feel the need to cling to these guys even though I have enjoyed their company. Perhaps it is the wanderer in me. Perhaps I am jaded. Perhaps I am growing up.
On the downside,
Their company has reminded me that Kendall, my OBFOC (only best friend on campus), is not here.
And I miss him fiercely. My one-on-one times that I was able to spend with the boys at different points throughout the summer have come to their end. I realize that it salved my lack of Ken, my lack of Jeannette, my lack of Liz and Mandy. But temporarily so. Just as last year the lack of Jeannette was salved by the Mansa House. We do these things, I was saying to Caleb, as a form of survival. Humans were meant to be together, meant to form families and that's why we make these habitats, these temporary homes. (Yes, I'm an anthro major, get over it.) And it was the calm conversations with Kyle, the silly laughter with Caleb and the over-attentiveness of Alex that formed a Missing Kendall stew. Allah be praised: he comes back on Tuesday.
Lexi came over around 10 and helped me finish off the coffee. She fit in so easily with the boys there. It was good to have her. She crashed at my place because the next day, she was going to Biola to ask that they let her back in for the Fall. When she told me this the night before, my knees hit the carpet. I reminded God that I do this to show Him how serious I am and then I prayed. Lexi has good news, it's looking positive for Fall 09
We did not go to bed until 4 this morning, staying up, talking....
When Lex left biola at the end of Fall 08, we had dinner at the caf
Then I hugged her outside Horton
For what I believed would be the last time
But God is so faithful
-because I was wrong-
Lexi was part of one of those temporary families, one I tried to cling to but was like sand in my hands. We love each other still, these people, but it is not quite the same. Though with Lexi's comeback and especially our time last night, I realized something even greater:
that she is worth hanging onto.
Not that the Wedgewood boys aren't worth it
That's not what I mean at all
Alex, Caleb and Kyle have all given me wonderful, poignant things to ruminate on the past two months and it has been a joy to cook and bake and clean for them as well.
But there are some people who transcend the framework of habitat and Lexi is one of them.
Back in my life for a reason
If only back for a season
But Lexi, you are so worth holding onto
Of all the moments in this blog, the majority of them come from the men of Wedgewood and miss Lexi
Thank you boys for a good June/July. May your adventures to Syacuse, Alex, to Whittier or Missouri, Caleb, to South Africa or wherever, Kyle, bring you joy that goes without comparison and maturity beyond value.
Thank you Lexi for the past, present and future. I am goin to hang onto you.
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